


Grey

by XariXipha



Series: Only Human [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Marinette is depressed, This might be long idk yet, WIP, bear with me please
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:54:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23561119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XariXipha/pseuds/XariXipha
Summary: It didn't happen all at once. It happened slowly, over a course of time. The colors and the light of her life, all around her, it slowly began to dull. Until everything was grey. She hadn't even noticed until it was too late.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Kagami Tsurugi, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe, Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Series: Only Human [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1695814
Comments: 7
Kudos: 135





	Grey

**Author's Note:**

> Might make a longer version to go along with this. Hmmm...

It didn't happen all at once. 

Master Fu left her at that train station- a one-sided goodbye. He left her with a feeling of gratitude for a stranger's kind help. She left him with the grief of a mentor lost, held behind a polite, crumbling wall. She managed to keep that wall intact, even after his departure. She still had work to do- people to save. Ladybug couldn't afford to collapse now. 

The wall stayed intact, even as she had to fight a classmate, even as she had to fight someone whom she had begun to consider an ally instead of an enemy. Even when it began to feel as if all of the odds were against her, that no amount of luck would turn things to her favor. 

They did, but only on the surface. The lingering problems- the ones lurking beneath the surface, the ones unable to be solved quite so simply- they only continued to fester, waiting, until the dam was ready to burst. 

It happened slowly, over a course of time. 

The walls only broke once everything was done. Only once she was alone, with no immediate responsibilities to address. She was up to her throat in responsibilities, now. That realization sunk in and the walls came down. The dam broke- the second dam, the other one. The one nobody really knew she was forced to maintain. 

It took her a moment, and then she was okay. Not the best, but okay. She was well enough to manage. She was Ladybug- she could do this, she knew that. And so she held herself strong and continued on like she was meant to, the leader and symbol that Paris needed. 

The colors and the light in her life, all around her- 

She went through her days as she always had. Akumas, as challenging as they are becoming, are dealt with just like every one previously. The injuries during the fights are getting worse, and the strain it has on their kwami's is starting to become noticeable. She has to rely on the other heroes more. They've become more of a necessity than an option at this point. 

They have to get used to the injuries and the fear faster than her and Chat Noir had to. This fact makes her feel uncomfortable, knowing who her allies are. They have to deal with Chloe on the front lines more than other random akumas. With every encounter, she becomes a stronger adversary, but the fight isn't in strength, because none of them truly want to hurt her. Instead, it is a battle of will, and it is one that they all find is much harder to face. She thinks that she's finally gotten through, only for her to bounce back the next day twice as strong, and ten times as stubborn. It leaves them all exhausted. 

It slowly begins to dull. 

She does her best to keep her hero life separate from her civilian life. It was for her safety just as much as her sanity. It was supposed to be her reprieve from the stress that came with the pedestal she stood on as Ladybug. Less responsibility, less pressure. It was her alibi. 

She goes to school every day- her tardiness having only increased, but so too has the attendance of her chosen allies. This makes her feel guilty. Her teachers draw the conclusion that the workload is too heavy. The class as a whole is grateful for a change. Her stress doesn't wane. 

The more she tries to call Lila out on her lies and deceit, the more she turns her friends against her. She tries to salvage this, but it only makes the situation worse. She can't help but feel betrayed. She puts up her walls, so as not to get akumatized. Paris would be doomed if Ladybug were to be akumatized before anybody had a chance to save her.

Even with her walls, as tall as they are, she begins to notice that nobody saves a spot for her at their table anymore. She thinks she's imagining it, the hint of something in the tone of voice they speak to her with. That same hint of something lingering in their gaze. It's in the subtle way they make excuses when she tries to involve herself. It's in the way they change when she speaks to them. The way they seem happier when she's not involved. 

She sees it in Alya, too, eventually. And that's when she begins to doubt her imagination. It's when her wall starts to crack, ever so slightly. Despite her feud with Lila, Alya always welcomed her to her table, and continued to hang out with her outside of school. But as her relationship with Nino continued to grow, it started to follow the same path. Alya stopped taking Marinette's side, took Lila's instead. When Marinette called, Alya said she was busy. She did still give her the time of day, at school, but Marinette saw the look in her eye- the something- whenever they spoke. Her laughter sounds more forced every time she hears it. She hopes it's all in her head. 

The only person left who supported her was Adrien- the love of her life. And while his agreement was there, it inevitably became hesitant. He didn't deny or side against her, but he didn't encourage her either. He knew she was fighting a losing battle just as much as she did. Just, he had the audacity to say it, and the nature to let sleeping dogs lie. The cracks only grow. 

As she minds herself Alienated further amongst her peers, she finds herself often standing off to the side, observing rather than participating. She observes many things. Things she wishes she could be a part of. Things she wishes she didn't have to watch from so far away. 

Her friends start breaking off into pairs. Relationships begin to form, and it's beautiful. Despite how dull everything is, she is overjoyed to see how happy and full of love her friends are. 

Even Adrien and Kagami. She is happy for them, really. They are good people, and they are good for each other. She hopes they are happy together. 

Until, everything is grey. 

Luka comes as a surprise. He is nice and understanding, and relates to her in a way she didn't think anyone could. He makes her forget her worries, and the responsibilities, and she feels lighter. But the feeling never lasts. If anything, it only makes the weight feel that much heavier once its back on her shoulders. He is everything she's wanted in a lover, and yet he does nothing to bring the color back into her world, and this breaks her heart. 

The wall crumbles during patrol with Chat Noir, atop the Eiffel Tower. His comfort is reassuring, and it braces her, steadies her. He is her partner, the only person besides Tikki who can probably fathom what she's going through. He clears her sorrow and brings her to her feet. But then she notices, with a clarity that shatters her foundation all over again, that even his love for her has dulled. 

Everyone's eyes had become dull. That something. The flame that she brought to their eyes, it was weaker now, overlapped, overshadowed. Replaced. And here she stood, in a world of greyscale, with a hole in her chest. 

She hadn't even noticed until it was too late. 


End file.
